As
you read this article we have already celebrated Thanksgiving and now
we move into the ‘religious’ holiday season, with particular
emphasis upon Hanukkah and Christmas. Incidentally, I really hope
you had a great Thanksgiving because it celebrates life, nature,
family and the kindness that we express to friends. In this sense it
is a more spiritual
holiday because anybody can enter into the spirit of taking time to
offer thanks.
Alcoholics
and addicts have a special relationship with the word spirituality
because, according to Carl Jung and others, unless there is a
spiritual transformation in the life of the alcoholic and addict then
long term recovery is unlikely. Some would say that spirituality is
essential in healing and maintaining sobriety.
With
this in mind, I think that it is particularly important that we have
a clear understanding of what is involved in these religious holidays
coming upon us. Why? Well, I can’t speak for everyone but along
with the ritual, gift-giving and feasts we often feel stress.
The stress is not a part of the religious message; this stress comes
along with the increasing commercial aspect of Hanukkah and
Christmas. The gift-giving often becomes a duty, along with sending
cards to people we rarely see or hear from; the parking at malls that
precede crowded and hectic shopping lines; then comes the money spent
or added to our credit cards. These situations combines with
holidays bring stress. Already I’m hearing from friends and some
family members that they’ll
be glad when it’s all over!
This
is a sad commentary on a religious message that both Hanukkah and
Christmas essentially bring: a time of gratitude, love and
thanksgiving.
How
does all this affect the alcoholic and addict? Well, speaking as a
recovering alcoholic it doesn’t affect me very much because I don’t
get caught up in the commercialism; however, I’m a single man with
no children to entertain. Also I have some time
in recovery. I’ve weathered past storms and learnt from past
mistakes. Today I send a few cards, purchase a small number of
gifts, avoid drinking parties, never go to malls, spend time with
sober friends and appreciate the spiritual message. Oh yes, and I
also go to meetings.
But
I’m aware that this holiday season will give yet another annual
excuse for people to drink more, fight more, spend more, eat more,
drive drunk, frighten their children, have legal altercations… and
relapse.
For
those who have problems with alcohol or drugs the coming holidays can
act as a healthy intervention; the chaos leads to treatment and
recovery. I suppose we could argue that this is a good thing. I
know I see more people at recovery meetings on December
twenty-seventh and January second!
However,
it is the relapse
that concerns me. People who were sober, enjoying periods of
abstinence, during the holiday celebrations, embrace the gloom and
darkness of addiction. And the relapse brings also the guilt and
shame. It has been said in meetings I attend that the feelings of
guilt and shame stop the person asking for help, returning to
treatment, frequenting recovery meetings. They give up on
themselves. The relapser loses hope.
Well,
thank God, that’s not everyone. I see relapsers constantly
returning for help and I’m sure it will be true this holiday
season.
However,
in a spiritual sense, can relapse be avoided? Can we celebrate the
holidays without the craziness? Yes. But it requires a recovery
strategy.
Here
are a few suggestions:
We
all know the holidays are coming. Let’s not wait until the last
minute to shop. Get everything done by (say), the fifteenth of
December.
Only
spend what you can afford. A wonderful gift is a sincere letter to
a friend or an appropriate card.
Don’t
attend celebrations that focus on drinking. The goal for the
spiritual life is always moderation and abstinence.
Stay
close to your support meetings and sponsor. In this way we actively
show gratitude for our recovery.
And
finally, avoid crowds. In my experience, serenity walks closely
behind solitude.
I’m
looking forward to the holidays this year. I will enjoy the
celebrations in moderation, knowing it is the spiritual message that
nurtures me.
I’m
embracing the cheer and avoiding any possibility of gloom.
Written by
Rev. Leo
