The use of substances to alter one’s experience habitually is a reflection of an inability to tolerate one’s own embodied experience. Often times this has to do with emotion, as we are afraid of what we feel. We then tend to become reactive to our emotions and create further chaos in our lives. This emotional reactivity can arise from beliefs that we are not even aware that we have.

Have you ever played the game “crack the whip” as a child? One child stands in the center and merely spins in place. This child holds another’s hand and so on, until there is a human chain. While the one in the center merely turns in place the one holding on at the end is flying. This is what can happen as we cling too tightly to the way we think things should be in our world. We get whipped around by our emotions, when things are not as we’d like them. When it is too painful, it is all too easy to check out for a time by using a substance, or some addictive behavior. The difficulty is that life then seems to become harder as we drop back in.For those coming out of treatment where they have gained a toehold, it is important to continue the work of not being reactive to their own experience and cultivating an embodied stability in response to what is going on in their lives. Often to do this people think that they need to shut down emotionally all together. This creates a life where they are disengaged, and relationships can become rigid and unfulfilling.People do not realize that emotions themselves contain wisdom for living and the very fuel to make valuable life changes. Emotions are also the glue that bind us together in relationship. For those that have never really learned to accept their emotions and love themselves as feeling human beings this can be frightening. Remember that the emotion and the action are separate. Emotions in and of themselves are not good or bad. What matters is what we do with them.   Celeste Howe is a licensed psychologist with Oasis Aftercare, on the west side of Los Angeles in Mar Vista. Her work with individuals and couples support them in becoming more comfortable to feel, finding acceptance with what is and making changes where needed. She works with issues of addiction, healing trauma, sexuality, and life transitions. (310)384-3600.